My return to "blogging” is an intentional one! I have some ideas about conversations that I would like to start/share in this forum and for that I am EXCITED! The problem that I am having is centered around the content—specifically, how much information do I share on this blog? Since it's my blog then I want to share things about me--the problem is that I am not comfortable doing that!
In general, I am an extremely private person! There are only a few people in my life that I really "share" all of myself with--I think that this can be linked directly to my earlier years.
I grew up in a culture (Jamaica) where you don't take things outside of the home! It was understood that whatever happened in the home/with your family stayed in the home. This was never a problem until lately or should I say that this started becoming an issue for me lately because of my blogging intentions--which is based on me DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY in my life. One of the things that I want to do differently is not being afraid to share more of me with the world. I guess a natural question is--why would I be afraid of sharing? Answer: Because I don't always know if I am enough---WOW I said it!!!
If you asked me what is the one thing that I know to be true at this point in my life? I would say that I have learned/know that "I cannot do this life thing by myself!!!!" That I really get the statement that-- no man is an island and that I need to lean on others to survive! It's not that I think that I am superior or better than others—it’s just that I have always been uncomfortable leaning on others or asking for help-- I am not sure why! I have learned that I am not self-sustainable--no one is-- and that is OK! I actually don't want to be--I want to be the person that is comfortable sharing herself with the world because she is ALWAYS ok with how she shows up in the world! Is that possible? Is there anyone out there that is A OK with who they are and how they show up everyday? Is that even attainable???? If I were that person then this post would not be necessary!!!!! Hmmmm—if I did not have to write this post, where would I be in the space that I am in? Does this question make ANY sense?
I am not sure that I have all the answers, but I am pleased that I am writing this post because it means that I am TRANSFORMING! If I hit the “publish post" button, then I know that I am doing things differently!
Your thoughts?
Tasha
2 comments:
Great Post!!! I found it to be very insightful and courageous. I am encouraged by your courage. My feeling is that, on my best day I am more than enough, on a good day I am enough, and on a bad day, well not so much. The trick is to have more best days, than bad days.
This is a tough one. I grew up in a family riddled with the culture of what goes on in this house stays in the house...we never shared our issues, woes or dysfunctions. Unfortunately, that didn't help me much in later life - as I struggled with keeping stuff inside and not sharing. Mine is also "being worthy" of sharing...and now feeling like you are bothering someone with your issues - or that they'll think less of you once they "know". I think now as I have more years in my life - I'm more focused on what God wants - and what his "enough" is rather than mine...and that sure brings a great deal of peace.
-YSIC (Nance)
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