I Give Myself Away

I am JUMPING IN......

Questions
What do you do when the life that you have no longer fits? How do you make the shift to a life that you know you ought to have when it requires changing almost everything that you know and have done to date? How do you get over your fear and take the risk?

Answer
FAITH

I have been in a “grip” lately and most days, I feel like I am fighting for my life— in every area of my life!!!! A lot is happening and I need to make some important shifts! The thing is that I am having to really challenge myself to trust what I KNOW and not what I FEEL. It’s been an up hill climb at times, but I am decided that I am jumping in. I am leaving the safely of the cliff and taking a big leap—I am making my very own purposeful leap. So here I go……I am trusting that the water will be fine!!!

N

Extending a hand...

Yesterday, I went with a group (15 of us) to volunteer at the New York City food bank. We spent three hours there and packaged enough food to feed almost 4000 people. Some impressions from the event:

I was "blown away " by one of the guys who worked in the warehouse because of the PASSION that he had for his job--coordinating the packaging of the food that would feed the homeless! His joy for helping others was SOOOOOO contagious!

Before we started working, they showed a video that humbled me. I was reminded that there are people in America who cannot afford one of life's most basic necessity—food. Here I am saying that I cannot afford a vacation this year and I have to try to find ways to cut back on things and some people cannot afford to eat!

I saw a quote on their board that said: "36% of the graduate for 2008 reported that they could not afford food" WOW!

I think that doing something for someone else (especially someone in need) may just be the best remedy to get thru this tough time that we are facing.

The question that I am posing today is simply: Is there anything that you can do today to help someone in need?

I am not suggesting that you go to a food bank, but maybe you could:

Volunteer free baby sitting services to a family in need—if you like kids
Buy a few extra can goods when you go the supermarket this weekend and drop it off at a food pantry
Organize your own food drive with your family and friends and drop it off at a food bank near you
Find a community organization that can use the skills that you have

Here’s my move…
I have decided to organize a group of my friends to go back to the food bank in March to volunteer for a few hours one Saturday morning and will probably asked them to empty their cupboards of things that they don’t want and bring it with them. The guy at the food bank told us that people don’t generally volunteer in the new year so they are always in need…

I have also contacted the organization that partnered with us on this food bank event and offered to run some life skills workshop for communities in need.

What’s your move?

N

Happy Valentines Day!!!

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT :-)

Increasing your faith

I had coffee with a friend of mine today and he asked me a question that's been on my mind since then. He said "Natasha you have a lot of faith--how do you increase your faith?"

I have never thought about that question so literally before...So here's faith I said...
For me, faith is trusting what seems impossible to the natural eye, and I think that I increase my faith when I trust what I know and not what I feel or see. That I lean on past experiences when having faith paid off for me. Interestingly enough I did not mentioned God or quote a scripture and I am wondering if I missed an opportunity to minister to him. My gut tells me that it was not the time or place, but I am still wondering...anyway I am digressing....

I have a question for you: How do YOU increase your faith???

N

A moment of pure bliss...my moment...

So I just got back from choir rehearsal. Yes—I said choir rehearsal. A few weeks ago I decided to reconnect with something that I enjoy VERY much--music and singing!

So in January I joined the Chorale at my church. I have been obsessing over this particular choir (we have several of them) for over a year, but did not think that I would make the cut. However, since it “opening night” everyday—you know I had to try, so I did and I am in!!!!

Tonight while we were practicing "Lift Every Voice and Sing", there was an instant, when everyone was singing that I experience a moment of complete bliss. In that moment, I knew for sure that I wanted to be exactly where I was doing exactly what I was doing and I WAS HAPPY—my heart was happy!

There is no risk of anyone ever calling on me to do a solo, but the thing is--I don't need to be doing a solo--I am perfectly HAPPLY just being in the Chorale.


On my ride home, I made a promise to myself that I would try to find opportunities that will allow me to experience more bliss moments on a daily basis

what was your last moment of pure bliss?
N

Me, my plans and Running….

I have a goal of completing a triathlon one of these days. I am not sure when—I am flirting with the idea of doing it at the end of this year or early 2010, but am a bit intimated as I believe that I am so out of shape. However, since I am trying to not live my life like a dress rehearsal, but like “opening night”, then I have to consider it—so I am considering it!

Since a triathlon includes: running, biking and swimming, I need to be very strategic in my endeavor as I have a deficit in all three areas—so I have decided to REALLY focus and break this endeavor into small chunks. I need to take some swimming lessons, I need to buy a bike and maybe join a training team, and most importantly, I need to TRAIN.

Short term training strategy
I explored swimming lessons at my local park and found out they have 15 lessons in each level for $40. I must first do a swim audit to gauge my level then I can start classes in the spring—so that’s coming.

I have put a hold on buying the bike or joining a team right now because of the cost involved, but will look at it again in a few months. In the interim, I will add one or two spinning classes per week to my gym schedule.

The Trick…
I have been struggling with going to the gym on a regular basis, so I have tricked myself—yes it’s possible to do that :-)! I am in this challenge with a colleague at work, who is getting married in 13 weeks and want to lose some weight. The rule is simple—go to the gym for five days per week (Mon. – Sun) or pay $5 for each day you don’t go—the winner gets the bag. This is a big incentive for us because we are both watching EVERY penny we spend. So paying $5 is not an option. Also, it’s the first $5 that you don’t want to pay, because the fear is that once you start…We are capturing this using a whiteboard in my office, so I am VERY motivated—especially when I see YES beside her name and NO beside mine. Last week, I could not go on Monday or Tuesday so I had to go five days in a row. Be clear that this week I am getting at least one day rest :-)! The challenge is on for the Month of February and I have another colleague who asked that I do it with her in March and I have already committed...

Running
My biggest struggle is the running—it terrifies me because I think that you have to be in primo shape to do it, so I have been doing the elliptical machine and the stair climber. One might think that this is great—at least you are exercising. Well since I can’t successfully complete a triathlon on an elliptical Machine, I need to start running, so I tackled it yesterday. I went on the treadmill and decided that I am going to get over my fear of running or die trying—literally. I found out that I can only run straight for 2.5 minutes and so I did about six 2.5 minute segments in 45 minutes and walk fast in between. I was exhausted when I got home, but felt great!! Secretly, I think that part of the problem is my breathing and the other part is my fear as I watch the clock—I need to just calm down. My plan today is to Google “running techniques for a beginners” and go to the gym tonight to see if I can run for 3 mins. My goal is to be able to run for 5 mins straight without passing out! I wonder how long that will take? can’t wait to share it with you-I see this as getting content for the chapters in the story of: ” “How I did my first triathlon :-)!

The thing is that yesterday something shifted for me—I was really proud of myself and am truly going to press thru this… so stay plugged in and take this journey with me and who knows—maybe your name will make it into the book :-).

Let me know if you have any strategies for running or if you know anyone that wants to get rid of a good bike becasue they no longer have space for it. Keep an eye out for me if/when you are on craigslist.

N

She said it for me...

I get it!

When I started blogging again, I mentioned that my life is an idea whose time has come--and I meant. The place where I am at in my life today required that I asked the question posed in the video below--which is: What am I willing to put aside for God?
My answer: EVERYTHING!!

I found this video a few days ago when this question was the only question I could ask of myself. It was one of those days when God had me on my knees! I am at a point in my life when I am literally trusting God with my life—in EVERYWAY imaginable. It is not easy--as it requires dying to my "old" self every day. When you live for 35 years with a set of thoughts and ideals that you now need to change, it is literally painful as it requires trusting God implicitly. No plan A, B or C--the only plan is His plan.

The one thing that I know to be true today is simply this--God has to be my EVERYTHING--it is a matter of life and death for me!!!!

N

Always "under construction"

If you know me, you would know that I love questions that provoke personal insight. I have been asking a lot of questions of myself lately because I have come to the realization that I don't know how to stay fully in the present and experience the current moments of my life.

I am always thinking about tomorrow and not taking time to simply enjoy today. I am not sure where I learned this, but I know that it has been a constant theme in my life and I must find the path to unlearning it. I have a friend that once told me that I am always "under construction". We laughed a bit about her comment as I told her the next thing that I was doing to try to improve ME to make my life “better”(It’s funny—as I write this I can remember everything about that day--interesting). While trying to improve your life is a great thing, I think that far too many of us take it to the extreme. There are negative sides to always being "under construction". If one is always trying to fix something, one will miss the opportunity to simply enjoy what is.

My goal over the last few months has been to try to remain in the present--because it is the only thing that I have…yesterday is gone and quite frankly--tomorrow may never come. The biggest shock was to discover how hard it is for me to enjoy my current moments :-(
Non-the-less, I keep "pressing" towards the mark...and with some help am getting better at it...

Here are some questions that will provoke some personal insight--my hope is that it will get you connected to


1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

2. What is the treat you most deplore in others?

3. What is your greatest extravagance?

4. What is your most treasured possession?

5. What is your guiltiest pleasure?

6. Where would you like to live?

7. What makes you depressed?

8. What is your post unappealing habit?

9. What is your fancy dress costume of choice?

10. Radiator or air conditioning?

11. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

12. What has been your biggest disappointed?

13. When did you last cry and why?

14. What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

15. How would you like to be remembered?

16. What is the most important lesson life as taught you?

NDM

Friendships

What do we expect from our friendships? or should I ask--what is a realistic expectation of friendships?

I had two separate incidents with two of my good girlfriends yesterday that has caused me today to think about this. The incidences were simply enough, but have both provoked a lot of questions for me:

What do I expect from my friends?
Are my expectations realistic?
Am I the kind of friend that I am looking for?

I know that there are different kinds of friendship, but I am specifically talking about the friendships with your sister-friends.

How do those play out for you? Are you happy with them? If yes, what are you happy about? If no, what would you change?

I do feel a grown-up growth moment approachhing....

N

An idea whose time has come....

So I have not been on here for a while, but I have decided to get back to blogging because of the "space" that I am currently in my life! I have decided to stop living my life like a dress rehearsal...It's the real thing, and I want to capture it in a way that I have not done before. We have a new president and irrespective of the state of the economic, I am feeling hopeful. My life now truly represents an idea whose time has come...The question is--Am I ready??? And my answer is YEPPERS!!!


Ok Natasha—Let’s do this !